R-E-S-P-E-C-T: Getting Comfortably Uncomfortable

When a  sense of reverence surrounds your being it creates movement with every thought and action. You allow your inner self to quietly shine.

When you honour and respect yourself from deep within, you also honour and respect the needs of others. It allows whatever needs to be worked through and achieved to be done with dignity and respect.

This is the time of Lono I ka Makahiki – or Makahiki Season. It is a period often called Hawaiian New Year. Lono is one of the 4 major Akua/Gods & Goddess. He is associated with Agriculture, Rain, Fertility, Peace and Goodwill.

Makahiki Season can be a time for making peace within and with those around you. Who do you need to make peace with? Who are you avoiding? Are you making promises to “catch up” but donʻt do it? What hurt are you carrying toward a person? And why is this hurt impacting you so much?  What piece of you is so wounded that you canʻt talk about it to the person concerned, make peace?

When you bottle things up and internalise hurt, the wounding magnifies. If it continues over time, it may seem insurmountable, that it canʻt be made right. Thoughts turn to just letting it slide in the hope it will somehow get better.

Digging in deep is required. Digging into your own hurt, to find the source of your wounding is needed.

Thereʻs something unresolved within you. Something youʻre afraid of that prevents you from making things right.

Often itʻs how the other person, or people, will receive us as we speak the truth of our experience of them or the situation that caused such hurt. Thatʻs a wound from way back that also needs your attention.

Making things right involves risk. You risk whatever relationship it is you have. But thereʻs a greater risk and thatʻs the risk of damaging the relationship you have with yourself. You might already feel that your relationship with yourself is non-existent at worst, fragile or a work in progress at best, and your foundation isnʻt strong enough to risk rejection – from yourself or others.

It is when you are on the edge of risk that the greatest growth can occur and you take another step toward the person you aspire to be. Risk in this context is your growing edge. By rolling the dice and risking it all, you grow.

It does require you to reach in deep, into the depths of your Being to find the courage to make things right. It will require you to put all your learning about yourself into action. It is a test of what and who you say you are in the world. You will be required to show how you are living your beliefs.

It is a test of Truth.

Itʻs this that can create a state of inner conflict – I want to live my beliefs, to be the person I say I am in the world, I really do and yet...thereʻs an edge to all this. I get it. Itʻs hard. Living a  spiritual life in these times where the basic spiritual foundations are not known, valued or respected is hard.

It is even harder to live them when youʻre the one doing the compromising of value and respect...when you do not take steps to set things right, it’s on you!

Making things right is what sets you free. Thatʻs the payoff. The risk is you might also lose something or someone. Thatʻs the decision only you can make. It is a question of happiness and unconditional love. It is a question of putting yourself at the head of the line. It is a question of spiritual resilience to deal with any fall out. It is a question of Spirit first and your relationship with Spirit above all others.

It is a question that life is not necessarily absolutes. Absolutes is to limit thinking and creativity. To consider that an outcome is either one or the other creates another level of imprisonment. Imprisonment of Spirit. Of your Spiritual Essence. Of all that you are.

Your Spiritual Essence, your ʻuhane, needs to be your Guide in this not the Mind.

Absolutes is the domain of the mind. The mind is the playground of the Kolohe and Kepalo – lower order destabilising entities who never work in your best interests. Indecision cracks the door open for them to enter. Continuing to delay action opens it further. Getting tangled inside inner conflict pushes the door open a bit more…

The way to close it forever is to do the hana/your inner work to strengthen your spiritual foundation so that there is no room or possibility for separation from ʻuhaneʻs guidance. You have been given this great gift, this great asset to help you in the physical world. To not learn to use it, live from it, be it – thatʻs disrepect.

Respecting who you are, all your potentials, the spiritual freedom that is avaiable to you starts with finding resolution to relational issues. You show yourself disrespect when you engage in avoidance, which is a signpost to your fear.

You show respect for the Beingness of the other person or people when you step up to the plate to speak the Truth of your experience – which might not necessarily be THE TRUTH but it IS the truth from your side.

When you hold on to pōhaku/stones, the things that weigh you down, it becomes emotional baggage which weighs you down even more. You create your own pōhaku, not the other person or persons, who may be unaware of the impact of the incident on you.

You may feel youʻve been disrespected – but the Truth is, youʻre the one doing the disrespecting by not addressing the issue with yourself and the other/s involved.

Decision is your great power. Use it to free yourself. Makahiki is the time to do it...

►Don’t know if you can get there? Hmmm, I can help you with that. Traditional Hoʻoponopono can take you deep inside to the place where your orginal wounding lies. Together we work through the layers of relationship one at a time. The key to Future is in opening doors in your Past.

► Maybe it’s a Healing Conversation that we need to have: here it’s less formal and we still sink in deep. We’ll chat about where you are, what’s happened, where you want to go and what’s blocking the way. You’ll work away with some handy how-to’s to get you started.

► Another way is to join me over in the Hālau/School and build that Foundation with the help of our Traditional Teachings. The Path to Paʻa is where you want to be. OR, you can join the Hawaiian Studies Club - itʻs a monthly membership $40/month and we meet twice a month online. Each meetup is specific, fun, useful, insight and recorded. Recordings are accessible for 12 weeks and then they go into the Library. Thereʻs also other handy tools and resources for Club Members as well as Course Discounts. So check that out too…not sure, letʻs talk it through. Call me…Aloha, Kumu Paʻa Julia Nālani x

☝🏽 PS One important thing when we talk about Risk - it doesnʻt mean you place yourself in unsafe situations with unsafe people. For example, in Narcisstic Relationships, Domestic Violence or with people who know are mentally unstable. You still do the inner work but you donʻt place yourself at risk. Not sure? Ask Kumu.